Reflection : Changes

Things have changed  a lot since the last time I was here.A year ago, I used to come here every evening with my Baba.Uff what a year it had been.This year sure has been long as hell.It’s evident our lives have flipped upside  down in 2020.Never had we ever imagined that we would live alongside a dreadful virus , series of lockdown that we didnt even sign up for.I have mourned over the loss of people in my vicinity, and I mourned over the loss of what life was like before.The truth is, life has changed drastically in just a couple short months.This year was unfair to all of us.

Things changed so fast in world that up and down were undistinguishable at times.I would hedge to bet that 2020 was runner up to infancy for numbers of tears I shed.Simply due to inability to discern and accept for things as it is.My mental health fluctuated a lot.I remembered sitting on floor feeling unmotivated. There were days when the world felt so heavy and i felt heavy within it.I felt unsure about my future, the lingering uncertainties around me made me feel like i am being left behind,i felt like i am stuck somewhere in the middle of desert,lost and  utterly confused.But how unwise is it to think that we are lost when there’s no roadmap to whole thing called life?In this game, if you pick a  route there’s no guarantee you will reach at the end of the trail you set out on but you will walk anyway hoping that you will reach there.Shit comes up. THINGS get derailed.People change, grow.The course is always shifting  and destination never looks anything like the one we started with.I mean…(long pause) is there even a destination at all?Or just the experience of search and discovery,trial and error,laughter and tears.I am grateful that i have a close friends whom i can ramble about these things . They would comfort me in a funny way and I loved it.

Yet this year was another opportunity to listen to my Baba’s stories which I will never get tired of.An opportunity to cook choco lava rice aka burnt rice and opportunity to discover more embarrassing side of me😛This year was another opportunity to reflect deeply into myself and things and bringing back my awareness.This year taught all of us that sometimes things don’t go as we planned and that’s fine.Most importantly, it taught us to be grateful for things we have and the importance of slowing down at times.

I am taking away lessons of gratitude, acceptance and impermanency from 2020.What are yours? Wishing everyone a better year in 2021.